New Beginnings | a post from a boat

People often say that travelling with a friend will either make or break that friendship. Who you are at home isn’t necessarily going to be who you are as a traveller and it is often the case that we travel to get away from who we are at home, to grow and change and even to hide away for a little bit. Its impossible to know what travelling is going to do to you; who you’re going to be in another part of the world much like it is impossible to know how what travelling is going to do to your friend.




Its important (I think) to realise that while you’re journeying together, you’re being changed by the world in different ways. You have both left different things at home which you might be grieving for and you’ll both do this in different ways. One thing might shock you about a country while you’re companion may be looking elsewhere. You might hate a place on your travels that your friend has fallen in love with - or a person, in fact. You will make different friends and often you will want to do different things.




Nothing prepares you for the pressure this puts on a friendship.




Its important (also) to remember that travelling isn’t always going to be easy. Its not always going to be fun and its certainly not going to come without stress and anxiety but it’s more important to remember that your friend is going through all of these things too. 




Whats hard is




When travelling pulls you in different directions, there are two rules that apply. The first is be true to yourself - put yourself first, don’t do things that you don’t want to do. This is your trip, you can’t re-live this. The second is to stick by your friend. You made a commitment to each other when you booked your flights to experience the world together and support each other. Respect the experience that your friend is having even if you don’t understand it. Even if it hurts you. Trust in the bond you have with each other even if you feel like its breaking. If you can find a balance between these things your friendship could be stronger than ever. If you don’t, you’ll either lose your friend, or you’ll lose yourself. 




I can’t tell you how to find this balance. Anyone who is close to me and knows the struggles I have had on this trip can see that I have no idea what the balance is. All I can tell the people reading this post is that I made a commitment to a friend that I’m not ready to give up on. I believe in loyalty and I believe that if you love someone you have to try a little harder. Dig a little deeper. Maybe you need to make some allowances you don’t want to make or forgive some things you really want to begrudge  but If I’m the person that I think I am this will be easier than I think. 




No one is perfect, which is why second chances are so important. Everyone can think of a time when they screwed up royally and someone gave them another chance. We’re all human and we all make mistakes, we are selfish but we don’t chose to hurt people. If we did give second chances, the whole world would be alone.




Some of you might understand this post and some of you might be saying “what the fuck happened”. The point is that we’re okay, and we’re looking after each other - because Ansa specifically asked us not to kill each other and she terrifies me. 




This has been another ridiculously emotional post brought to you by a ferry to Koh Tao where everyone else is asleep and the roof is leaking. A lot.