Feminism - and men.

FEMINISM
​And men.
Gessica Sheridan


Dictionary - “The advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of the equality of the sexes.”
Beyonce - “The social, political and economic equality of the sexes.”


Okay, here we go.. 


When I decided to write a blog about feminism, I knew it was going to be contentious.




For a lot of people, feminism seems to be a touchy subject. When I started asking some of the people I knew what they thought about feminism, I got a lot of:
“Well ,I’m a feminist, but…”
“I would be a feminist, but…”
“I am, but I’m not..”
“I am, but I don’t like to call myself a feminist”
“I am, but like, not one of those crazy, man-hating-feminists” 


Why is it that when we start to talk about feminism, people seem to get so uncomfortable and unsure. Why does feminism get us on the defensive? No-one seems to want to own up to their views for fear they might be branded with them.  Why does everyone seem to be so confused? If all feminism is, is equal rights for men and women then why do some people tense up at the world?


 “The women who say they don’t need it (feminism) are standing on the shoulders of generations of feminists, without whom, they wouldn’t even be in a position to be asked the question.” - Emma Watson”


What feminism is:


Feminism is the movement responsible for women having equal rights. In other words, the same rights that men have. It’s what gave women the right to vote, drive a vehicle, own property, file for divorce and have access to birth control. It’s what can be credited with demanding laws around sexual assault and domestic violence. It’s likely the very ethos that has allowed you to live the life you do.  


So,


According to this, If you believe in gender equally, well, you’re a feminist.
Right?
 


What feminism isn’t:


Feminism is not man-hating misandry. It is not simply hairy-armpitted hippies or an excuse for a woman to walk the streets half naked on a Friday night.  Feminism is absolutely not the belief that women should be given any advantages over men. Feminism is not the belief that women are victims of men or that women are owed by men.


Feminism is not about attacking or alienating men; so why do so many people feel that it is? 




Why is it that so many of us believe in womens rights, and gender equality, but don’t want to associate ourselves with the word feminism? One reason could lie in the very interpretation of the word, where what it sounds like,  is actually quite different to its literal meaning.  Because it sounds like feminism is for women, only.


 The word feels like it is underpinned by assumption of a gender binary and exusionary subtext ‘for women only’” - Martha Rampton


So why do we call it feminism? well,  because at the time it was coined in late 1800’s, women needed it more.  Women needed equality because women were not being treated as equals. 
We all know this, we all acknowledge that in so many ways, women were treated as second class citizens and denied many of the privileges, and what are now seen as basic human rights, that men had. 




Is that it? Have we just now decided in over 100 years later to reject feminism because the implications in the name are a little problematic?




I would argue that theres more to it, that a rose by any other name might not sound as sweet, that we don’t want to call ourselves feminists because somewhere along the line, despite the undeniable world of good the feminist movement has achieved, feminism has become an contentious, cynical and in some cases insulting word.




“In arguments today, people use feminism as a term of abuse, but that is just way of silencing women”. - Emma Watson.




Feminism is being abused. 
It’s being abused by radical movements of misandry who are using feminism to dehumanise men and push their agenda to have greater rights for women rather than equal rights.  It’s being abused by the media. Using feminism, the media has created a society where women are inherently victims and men are inherently at fault.  Where women are weak and powerless and men are, well, predators. 


The media tells us that men are treating women like sexual objects, but it never tells us that women are treating men as success objects; qualifying a mans worth on his ability to provide for them and give them the things they desire.


The media continues to tell us that we live in a patriarchy. Do we?
Do we live in a world where women are on their own in their oppression, the sole victims of gender roles and stereotypes? 




A lot of people who, while believing in equal rights, don’t associate themselves with feminism are doing so because they don’t agree with what the media has been teaching us.  They want to acknowledge mens issues and they don’t feel like feminism achieves that, therefore failing in itself to be about “equality of the sexes.”




Well, I couldn’t agree more. Feminism doesn’t talk about mens rights, mens issues, and the many ways in which men are suffering at the hands of their gender stereotypes.




As feminists. Can we talk about men?
Can we talk about the fact that men are more likely than women to be injured, or killed in their jobs?
Can we talk about the fact that men are more likely than women to be the victims of physical assault?
Can we talk about the fact that actually, men are falling behind in education?
Can we talk about the fact that men make up 70 percent of the homeless?
Can we talk about the fact that men lose custody battles 5 times out of 6, because gender stereotypes suggest women are better suited to be at home, and men are better suited to be making money 
Can we talk about the pressures of masculinity, the men who are taught to harden up, not to cry, not to make a fuss…
Can we please, talk about male suicide rates. 




Theres are mens issues, and as gender equality advocates, as feminists these should be our issues.  So why is feminism failing to address them? 




“Women cannot hear what men do not say” - Warren Farrell






The media has a lot to answer for, and so do we. Women too are domestically violent but the media seems to have a blind spot for this, and as a result, we have a blind spot for female violence against men.  It happens, so why aren’t we calling it out? Is it because if we admitted that both men and women were perpetrators of domestic violence, it would no longer be a gender issue. 






The gender specific assumption that women will be primary caregivers is sexism against women.
And it Is also sexism against men. 




You don’t have to burn your underwear to be a feminist.
You don’t have to believe that men are the enemy to be a feminist.
You don’t have to believe that men are the oppressors to be a feminist. 
You don’t have to deny mens issues, and mens rights to be a feminist. 




I am a feminist and feminism is important to me. 
Because I have respect an admiration for the strong and courageous women who paved the way for me to have equal rights.  Because I believe we need feminism to be a voice for womens issues historically, presently and the issues women will inevitably face in the future.  Because I believe that fundamentally, feminism is important for women. And men.