A letter to my fathers wife

An open letter to my fathers wife.
Gessica Sheridan

I came from a broken home. It broke when my mother left my father. We put it back together and made it something new but when my sister passed away it broke again.


Sam left an uncomfortable space throughout my adolescence and for years it was just me and Dad. Growing up, Dad didn’t have girlfriends. Once when when I was about 4 and Sam was about 6 he told us that a pretty woman at church was his new girlfriend. Not realising it was a joke, Sam took it upon herself to investigate the claim and unsurprisingly that was the first and final time Dad ever talked to us about women.


Young as I was, I never considered that Dad might be lonely on his own, after all he had us. Being a daddy’s girl I doubt I would have been excited about a stepmother I always knew I was lucky to have my dad, I was very proud and I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to share him with anyone.


It wasn’t until I fell in love myself that I understood what dad was missing in his life and as if by magic, that same year he got together with his wife.

I might have imagined my fathers girlfriend needing to win me over and work for my approval and affection but instead I desperately wanted her to like me.


Whether this stemmed from a fear that my dad might love her more than he loved me, I didn't want to be a teenager with an attitude anymore, I wanted to be like her.


Graceful, smart, genuine and together.


There is more than a little you could say about step mothers, in any case I think the ability to form a relationship with your partners child is amazing, but when that child is an adult such an effort to get to know them is a gesture beyond words.


Gaining a stepmother as an adult I learned that you never know whats around the corner, waiting to change your life. You should always be prepared for something amazing and embrace the changes, and the people that come your way.  I learnt that my past didn't define my future and it was never too late to start being someone you're proud of. 


A distant relationship with my mother left a lot of gaps in my heart and for this I am fortunate to have my stepmother. For all the change I’ve experienced in the last 5 years…


Dear Rachel,


Thank you for paying attention. Thank you for making me feel like I was still important when it felt like his life was moving on without me. Thank you for sharing with me. Your family, your experiences and your love. Thank you for showing me what unconditional love looks like.


Thank you for calling, texting, messaging. Thank you for caring where I am and whether I’m okay. Thank you for noticing when I’m not. Thank you for always having time for me, for all the advise, through all the meltdowns - thank you for being patient with me.


Thank you for accepting where I come from. Thank you for including me in your future.


And finally...
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Thank you for fixing my home. Thank you for looking after my dads heart and giving him the love he deserves. Thank you for being patient with him and standing beside him. Thank you for making my family bigger and better than I could ever ask for. Thank you for my little siblings.. Thank you for giving me a place to belong. Thank you.


All my love,
Gessica



My stepmother has taught me a lot about patience and understanding simply by living as an example. Patience not only in other people but in myself as well. Some family you’re born with, and some family you chose for yourself. Sometimes you lose family, and some times you gain it.  


Happy Mothers day everyone.